Moving from E-mails to Phone Calls

Good Advice to Females

If you've been e-mailing someone you met from an online dating site for a while , sooner or later you may be asked to give out your phone number. Do you feel comfortable giving your phone number to him? Have you established a connection and do you feel that this is a person you'd like to get to know better?

On the phone you can see how someone listens, their sense of humor and other characteristics that can give you more of a sense of the person than e-mails or using an IM service can give to you. 

However, as a female, it is a good idea to give out a cell phone number rather than a landline. This is because people can do a reverse search lookup on the internet with a phone number and may then have your street address.

That is not advisable with a stranger from the internet. You can't be sure that a "nice" person isn't a stalker or someone who may drive around your neighborhood. Always take into account your safety, especially if you live alone.

The initial phone talk may be awkward at the beginning but as you become more comfortable with each other it should become natural if there is some chemistry. You can ask each other about topics mentioned in prior e-mails to get more details and ease into a talking mode.

One area that is always good is to discuss one's dreams, goals and interests. If you have found through previous correspondences that the person had a good childhood, asking about his family background is a safe area. If the person had a dysfunctional family or has a mixed relation to his background then this may be a discussion that is best kept for future talks and after trust builds up. To put someone on the spot is not a good idea.

You may decide during the first phone call you'd like to meet him in person and that can be the time to make a plan to meet in a public location such as a bookstore, cafe or shopping mall food court. If you feel unsure about meeting yet, then continue to talk on the phone to see if meeting in person makes sense. You use your judgement and intuition and don't let yourself be pressured by an in-person meeting.

It's also possible that by the end of the first phone talk you don't feel that you are compatible and instead , you'd like to end things. Be careful as first impressions are not always accurate and the person may just be nervous which can create a mistaken impression. Take your time and when you see good dialogue, laughter and a natural ease then you'll make the transition and feel comfortable.