Do You Continue To Date Someone Despite Misgivings?

Do you find yourself still dating someone regularly despite having doubts about a future with him or her? Is this mostly out of a need to feel secure and have a date? If this has been going on for months, it is time to sit down and think about the future of your relationship. Why are you still in it?

Are you regarding the person you date more as a friend than a partner ? If so, that may be a better transition and you can still make plans together on weekends while you both resume dating again. Are you staying in the relationship in order to have a social life ? Keep in mind that you are taking yourself out of the dating market by doing this, despite the enjoyability of a companion for eating out and movies.

Try and write down what your misgivings are about the relationship. You may be feeling the opposite: It may be that you are afraid you like the person more than they like you. Look at that and see if you have reasons to feel insecure and whether you'd always feel vulnerable, jealous or on edge. Are there objective reasons for these doubts?

Has the person been flirtatious, hung up on a past relationship or unreliable? Try to talk this through together to see if these are your own projections or are objective concerns that are factually the case. Sometimes we bring our issues from previous relationships into current ones and are not looking at the present situation clearly.

Another reason for misgivings can be that you aren't ready to get back into the dating scene again. Does the thought of starting again going through online sites frustrate you? Are you sick of the blind dates, the remarks from family members when you are "unattached" etc? If so, this really isn't a sufficient reason to continue to date someone you don't care about romantically, nor is it fair to either of you.

Getting back out there can take a little effort but you will feel better being honest with yourself in the long run rather than staying in a situation out of security or to feel you fit in socially with others.